You work out of a Hotel?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
