So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Blood and glitter go together right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
