I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
