She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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