she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
