Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
