Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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