and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
