Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
