Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
