I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I touched a dick in church today
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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