Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
