I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
