id be glad to
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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