My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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