I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
