Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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