...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
