OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
