I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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