is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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