I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
