rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My life is pants optional.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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