mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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