so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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