I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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