i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
