I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
