I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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