Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
