Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
