I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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