Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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