SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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