Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize