Your tits are I can't wait for
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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