But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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