broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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