I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
