How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
