I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
My hand turned me down
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
