i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
