But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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