well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
