You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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