I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
