Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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