Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
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