Define "chronic" masturbator.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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