so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
