Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
